"You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain."
everyone’s grandparents seem to have really cute stories of how they met, and like my grandparents met when my grandma was running away from police during a protest and she jumped on the back of my grandads motorcycle and just screamed “DRIVE FUCKING DRIVE”
I dunno man I think that story’s pretty fuckin cute.
tumblr has defiled my sense of humor and now I’m on this new tier of humor that no one in real life understands
Octopuses are going to kill us all someday
I had a biology teacher that told us this story about an octopus at an aquarium in Australia. The staff were concerned because their population of crustaceans kept disappearing. No bodies or anything. So they checked the video feed to find out what’s up.
Across from the the crustacean tank was a small octopus tank. This little fucker squeezed out of a tiny hole at the top of his tank, walk across the hall, and get into the crustacean tank. He would then hunt and eat. After he was done, he crawled back out and get back in his tank
Here’s the kicker: security guards patrolled the area. The staff realized that the octopus had memorized the security’s routine. It would escape and be back between the guards’ round.
An octopus in Germany was annoyed by a bright light shining into his tank, so he climbed up over the rim and squirted water at it to short it.
Fuckin’ octopuses, man.
the cucumber saga
if it is ur birthday happy birthday and if it isnt happy existing day
i have this 17 second 3d animation of a humanoid shark in a flannel shirt and jeans dancing and i have no idea what to do with it
realest thing I’ve seen in a while
this was so amazing. so thought provoking. an eye-opening social criticism.