gurlfriend: happy fathers day
bf: but im not a dad
gf: :)

burgerkid:

me trying to do stuff

image

neongenesist:

Anime was a mistake.

lmaoalien:

waiter: hi what would you like to drink?
me: coke please
waiter: sorry we only have meth is that fine?

sexuallyambiguousphan:

The best part is he still hadn’t taken down all the post-its.

retroactiveeurydices:

oxheadandhorsefacearedead:

retroactiveeurydices:

koalatea:

i dont need a boyfriend i need 12 million dollars and a donut 

12 million dollars can be used to obtain many donuts.

explain how

money can be exchanged for goods and services

robotmango:

gooqueen:

every year after you turn 17 you get further away from being the age of the dancing queen and that’s my least favorite thing about growing up

ah but when you turn 34 you’re two dancing queens and thus having twice the time of your life. and at 51 you become the dancing triumvirate and three golden crowns are forged in your honor

lots to look forward to

cutely-perverted:

yungginseng:

when the store clerk think you walking in to steal


Looool

cutely-perverted:

yungginseng:

when the store clerk think you walking in to steal

Looool

kamilledontfeel:

davybot:

tsvlink25:

When you’re just scrolling and then you suddenly find porn

image

When you scroll down and you keep seeing more and more

image

What makes this so accurate is the amount of cocks